The past couple of weeks my partner Misty and I have been living in a Quechua village in Bolivia. We stayed with a believer named Te Adora, who quickly became like our mama. The first couple of days I experienced something thats hard to describe. Our two bosses, Leah and Kelli, took us to the village where we would be living. We all had a great time laughing, talking, and getting to know our new family. I was feeling comfortable until the next morning when it was time for Leah and Kelli to leave. As I watched them drive off after hugging them bye, something within me broke. Immediately I was filled with emotion. I was scared, sad, and overwhelmed, like a little girl when her mom drops her off at her first day of school. Tears filled my eyes as I watched them fade away into the mountains into that once seemed so beautiful but now were new, different, and scary.
I was overwhelmed as I turned and headed toward the mud house that was now my new home with a new family, who spoke a new language, and had a completely different way of living. As I neared the house a million thoughts flooded my mind, and emotion swept through my heart sending adrenaline pumping wildy through my veins. I began to walk back very slowly, with each step being more painful as the first. I fought back tears as I entered the house to find a pot of food waiting for me to eat. I looked ate my partner Misty, gave the host a fake smile, and inwardly screamed, ¨What am I doing here! Ican´t do this, get me outof here!¨
The rest of the day the feelings worsened and finally when we left thier house to go to bed I burst into tears. I think I freaked Misty out crying for hours without much of an explination. We had done this many times before in the jungle for longer time periods. I just came out of jungle boot camp , nothing should faze me, what was going on? The next two days I became like a robot. Waking up and blocking off my emotions, putting on a big smile laughing an talking with the people but flooding my bed with tears at night.
By the third day we had a break to rest so I hiked up a mountain to get away and spend time alone with God. As I was up there I had what I call my ¨Moses moment.¨ While on the mountain, God met with me! It was a very windy afternoon the skys dark grey filled with rain clouds ready to burst, it was beautiful. I love storms, they always make me feel so close to the Lord. Watching his creation put on a show for him delcaring his power, beauty, and glory. I looked up at the clouds, closed my eyes and imagined myself at home on my grandma´s porch watching the storm.Immediately I felt at home. I began to cry and didn´t want to open my eyes.
At that moment God whispered to me, ¨Amy, if you go to distant lands, the farthest of places with the strangest faces, with me you are always home.¨ I will never leave you, I am with you Amy! At that moment the wind began to pick up and it blew so hard I thought I was going to be thrown off the mountain. I burst into tears as an incredible peace and joy flooded my heart. For the first time in the year of being away from my home, friends, family, and all I knew , I felt at home. My home is with my father wherever that may be. We are not of this world we are just passing through.
I felt my Dad, God, was wrapping His arms around me and as the wind rocked me to and fro I felt as though I were in his lap wrapped so tight in his arms and He was rocking me back and forth wiping the tears from my eyes saying don´t worry honey your home, your daddy is here. I felt those same feelings I had when I was a little girl and my mom would rock me to sleep becuase I had a bad dream. I could rest in her arms trusting her love for me, knowing she would not let anything happen to me.
The love He has for us is indescribable! He is waiting to love you. God almighty, Holy, Righteous, creator of all we see longs for you and me! The greatest mystery of all mankind the love of God! Read Matthew 10. 29-31 and Zepheniah 3:17. The very hairs on your head are numbered. He knows every tear that falls, and every up and down. He has a plan and purpose for your life.
To love Him and be loved by Him.
Gods Love!!
I was overwhelmed as I turned and headed toward the mud house that was now my new home with a new family, who spoke a new language, and had a completely different way of living. As I neared the house a million thoughts flooded my mind, and emotion swept through my heart sending adrenaline pumping wildy through my veins. I began to walk back very slowly, with each step being more painful as the first. I fought back tears as I entered the house to find a pot of food waiting for me to eat. I looked ate my partner Misty, gave the host a fake smile, and inwardly screamed, ¨What am I doing here! Ican´t do this, get me outof here!¨
The rest of the day the feelings worsened and finally when we left thier house to go to bed I burst into tears. I think I freaked Misty out crying for hours without much of an explination. We had done this many times before in the jungle for longer time periods. I just came out of jungle boot camp , nothing should faze me, what was going on? The next two days I became like a robot. Waking up and blocking off my emotions, putting on a big smile laughing an talking with the people but flooding my bed with tears at night.
By the third day we had a break to rest so I hiked up a mountain to get away and spend time alone with God. As I was up there I had what I call my ¨Moses moment.¨ While on the mountain, God met with me! It was a very windy afternoon the skys dark grey filled with rain clouds ready to burst, it was beautiful. I love storms, they always make me feel so close to the Lord. Watching his creation put on a show for him delcaring his power, beauty, and glory. I looked up at the clouds, closed my eyes and imagined myself at home on my grandma´s porch watching the storm.Immediately I felt at home. I began to cry and didn´t want to open my eyes.
At that moment God whispered to me, ¨Amy, if you go to distant lands, the farthest of places with the strangest faces, with me you are always home.¨ I will never leave you, I am with you Amy! At that moment the wind began to pick up and it blew so hard I thought I was going to be thrown off the mountain. I burst into tears as an incredible peace and joy flooded my heart. For the first time in the year of being away from my home, friends, family, and all I knew , I felt at home. My home is with my father wherever that may be. We are not of this world we are just passing through.
I felt my Dad, God, was wrapping His arms around me and as the wind rocked me to and fro I felt as though I were in his lap wrapped so tight in his arms and He was rocking me back and forth wiping the tears from my eyes saying don´t worry honey your home, your daddy is here. I felt those same feelings I had when I was a little girl and my mom would rock me to sleep becuase I had a bad dream. I could rest in her arms trusting her love for me, knowing she would not let anything happen to me.
The love He has for us is indescribable! He is waiting to love you. God almighty, Holy, Righteous, creator of all we see longs for you and me! The greatest mystery of all mankind the love of God! Read Matthew 10. 29-31 and Zepheniah 3:17. The very hairs on your head are numbered. He knows every tear that falls, and every up and down. He has a plan and purpose for your life.
To love Him and be loved by Him.
Gods Love!!
3 comments:
Amy, Thank you so much for sharing! This blog was really encouraging to me. I love you SO much my dearest friend, and I am praying for you daily! I cannot wait to get to see you face to face and talk more indepth about the things our Father has taught us in the past year! Love you!
Girl, I love how you described the storm as creation putting on a show for the Creator! Such a beautiful idea! I love you, girl, and am so glad that God saw fit to place us all together as a team, part of His body.
i love your heart amy givens. thank you for sharing. it was a good word.
love you to death friend. and am so thankful God placed you in my life.
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